Worry

I traded in joy for pennies on the dollar—peace exchanged for worthless worry.  I drank the cup of bitterness, and it poisoned my soul. 

The double-minded man is like a ship tossed about on the ocean.  My heart was that ship tossed about on the ocean.

Isn’t that what it feels like when we worry?  At best it’s a nagging thought at the back of our mind.  At worst our stomachs perform acrobatic feats.  We are unable to think clearly or are paralyzed with fear.  The emotional roller coaster becomes so overwhelming it makes us sick.

Worry is a choice not to trust in God’s faithfulness—in the faithfulness of one who numbers the hairs on our head and gives us this day our daily bread.  Our daily bread.  He gives us what we need for today.  Jesus’s words cut to the heart of it all:

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?  And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?  And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34)

Enough for today.  Sounds like a nice neat little Sunday-school story, but does He really give us enough? Can I trust Him that what He’s measured out for me today will be enough?  The “what ifs” pound through my mind as I struggle to be content with what He has given for today.

What if our kids make poor choices?

What if we lose our income?

What if I make a bad decision?

What if something bad happens to one of us?

Because I want what I need for today, and the next day, and many more after that.  I am a planner.  I want a road map. I want to have it all figured out--with a contingency plan, if you please.  Or maybe I just want to be in control of it all.

And Jesus’s answer to all my what-ifs is to trust. To trust that He is enough.  Even in the face of my fears.

When I travel without my kids, I worry about dying.  What would happen to my kids if I were to die?  Who would they live with? Would they be taken care of? Would they know God?

This is what I hear, “What if you were to die?” It seems as though God likes to take my questions and my fears and toss them back to me. “Is dying the worst thing that could happen to you?  Don’t I love your children even more than you do? You can trust me to take care of you and your children.”

Jesus isn’t giving us a pat on the hand with a trite little lesson when he tells us not to worry about tomorrow.  He is telling us that we can trust the Father who knows what we need to take care of us no matter what tomorrow brings. 

Giving up worrying isn’t exactly a walk in the park.  Temptations to linger there present themselves nearly daily.  So what is the remedy?  I have little faith in white-knuckle Christianity.  It seems the more we try to resist giving in by our own sheer will power, the more we think of it and the more difficult it becomes.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  (Philippians 4:6)

Instead, we turn it over to God.  We tell God our fears and our concerns.  We thank Him for what we know to be true—that He is good and he takes care of us.  Sometimes that looks like crying and grieving and other times that may look like anger or hopelessness.  And then we listen to hear His voice.  We trade our own inadequacies for His strength, the lies we have believed for His truth. 

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)

We replace the worries—that dark pit of despair—with God’s goodness. We read His word and meditate on it, listen to songs that give hope, talk to friends whose words give life.  And His light replaces the darkness. The peace of God is in us.